The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

I guess I am considered old school. I don't have a fancy i-phone or tablet or even one of those Kindles. I have an old laptop. So I'm not able to update my blog as much as I'd like but I think that will be changing soon. A lot has happened since my last post; which seems like there is ALWAYS a lot happening. My husband went back over the road since driving for the same company as I didn't pay the bills. He tried trading the market for a while and, well, I don't need to say any more about that. I had some medical issues which my NEW insurance company Anthem BC/BS considered "pre-existing" so I am saddled with thousands of dollars in medical bills. Just another day in the life of Midwest Lady! I'm still fighting health issues but I'm not seeing anymore doctors until I get help with the insurance.


Over the 4th of July, my brother who now lives in Minnesota near his son visited our parents up in Rochester, NY. My brother had back surgeries many years ago and has been on pain killers since. He is an addict. His health and mental capacities has deteriorated so badly that he is unrecognizable. I haven't seen him since 2002 and although he is only 60 years old, he looks older than my father who is 82. I am sad for him. :(


My new dispatcher has come a long way. He is running me so darn well that I am so dang tired all the time. I guess I should be careful what I ask for, huh? 


I took a jewelry making class and I'm looking forward to being creative again. My only problem is I start projects and never finish them. I get very distracted and unfocused. I wonder if I have adult ADD!


All in all things are quiet around the homestead. I miss my husband but am thankful he is working and I can talk to him everyday. I miss my kids but I don't think they miss me as much. They are all so busy with their lives. I never in a million years thought my kids would be so distant from me. I never hear from them with the exception of my middle daughter. She has issues and needs someone to listen to her about her troubles. I wish with all my heart I could make them all go away.

Till next time!

Where has the time gone???

It has been quite a while since I've posted anything here. A lot has happened. And not all is good.

I am back driving for the courier service again. The dispatcher I had in the summer was great! My runs were constant and the money was good. So good in fact my husband decided to make the move to come off the road and join the business. He is now home, off the road, and drives for the company I work through. He also drives the tractor-trailer and box trucks when they need an extra driver or if someone calls in sick. We made the plunge and purchased a newer van for me because the car I was using (a Taurus SHO) started having electrical problems in the engine so I retired it. Maybe someday we can fix it. So, we buy this van (a Mazda 5) which I totally HATE! But, it carries more than my car and fuel economy is better. My husband has this other van, more of a cargo style van that is a rent-to-own deal. We didn't want to invest in a vehicle if this wasn't going to work out financially for him. As it turns out, he has only used the vehicle maybe 3 days since coming on board over a month ago.

Anyway....as I mentioned, this dispatcher really ran me great and because of his great work they promoted him to terminal manager. Good for him, bad for me. The NEW dispatcher does not run me the same way. I will give him time before I make any decisions on staying or not. After all, I'm in the business of making money and now that my husband has also made this move we are sort of panicing if whether the money is going to be there. We'll see after the 1st of the year to see if work picks up. If not, the possibility of going back over the road may be our only alternative. Right now we are struggling to keep the mortgage paid.

Until next time.....be safe!

When I was growing up....(1955-1969)

When I was growing up .....

• cars did not have air conditioning


• the doors to my house were never locked


• my bedroom was on the second floor of our cape cod style home with no air conditioning


• we had a 24 ft. round pool


• I lived in a suburban neighborhood


• I never took public transportation


• I had a record player


• then I had a tape cassette player


• I rode my bicycle everywhere


• there were drive-in movie theaters


• President Kennedy was assassinated


• my favorite TV shows were Bonanza, I Love Lucy, Candid Camera, Gilligan's Island, Car 54, Gomer Pile, Star Trek, My Three Sons, I Dream of Jeanie, Mr. Ed, Leave it to Beaver, Lassie, Green Acres, Outer Limits, Patty Duke, The Carol Burnett Show, My Favorite Martian, The Ed Sullivan Show, The Three Stooges American Bandstand, The Beverly Hillbillies, Bewitched, and so many more.


• I spent a lot of time with my Grandparents (on my Dad's side)


• My aunt (my mother's sister) lived just down the street and I would play with my cousins Carol and Sherry. Carol later passed away at the age of 18.


• I saw my brother start to self destruct with the use of drugs. To this day he is addicted to pain medications.


• I would go camping with my family (I can still smell the bacon and eggs cooking on the Coleman stove)


• I rode a horse


• Man landed on the moon


• I had a Poloroid Instant Camera


• I loved Christmas


• Marilyn Monroe died

Summer is Almost Here

It's May and summer is just around the corner. I thought I would be further along with my weight loss but I have only lost 5 pounds this past month. I thought I was doing everything right. Perhaps more exercise is required. It's so hard to move some days with my back and ankle the way it is. Some days I just can't get out of bed because I hurt so much. I need to be very careful with what I do. I started walking my dog for 30 minutes tonight and I hope to continue this daily. It felt good but I don't think it will be enough to lose the weight I want to because I can't walk too fast or hard. I have work out videos I can be exercising to but my knees kill me when I work out to them. Oh what a physical mess I am. Who am I kidding. My mind says I'm 30 something....my body says I'm old. I guess I just need to do the best I can.

This coming Tuesday I will be meeting with a recruiter with a temp agency. It's time for me to go back to work. If nothing else but to keep my sanity. And the extra cash won't hurt either. There are so many things I want to do around the house and I can't do them on what my husband makes. He has enough to worry about without me spending money we really don't have.

I've discovered that life's journey is all about change and adaptation. One of these days I'm going to live life my way. One day.

Another new beginning

Let's see....my husband left yesterday for orientation in PA. He hired on with Shaffer Trucking. I really hope this works out this time. Our finances are a MESS! We just can't catch up. He sold his beloved 1971 LTD Ford Convertible last week. I was very sad about it but it needed to be done. With the money my husband decided that we needed to buy food storage and silver investments. So....we ordered the food storage which has an 8-10 week delivery. I surely hope we won't need it before then. Next on the FOR-SALE list is his tool boxes and tools. We will not have any income for at least 2 weeks. I hope the wolves stay away until then. I am so afraid of losing my home.

I was on a diet until my husband lost his job. While he was home for the past two weeks it's been really difficult to stay on plan. Now that he is away I will begin again. I really hope for a day when ordinary and boring is the status quo in my household.

What Now??

Can someone please tell me when is my life going to get easy? Why is it so damn difficult? My husband was fired from his NEW job on Monday due to a misunderstanding of policy. I had to travel 550 miles both ways to get him home with all his stuff from his truck. I had just started my new diet plan and that was shot out of the water! He has gone through so many jobs! I know this gets him down but good grief! When is this going to stop? Now neither of us are working and we have a total of $154.00 in the bank. We were just starting to get caught up on our bills and this happens. I just can't take it anymore. I try to be strong and say "everything will be alright." I've even mentioned that I would go back to work even if just a temp but he said noooooo, keep my spiritual routine going. How can I have joy in the ministry when I have all this chaos going on in my house? I'm 400 miles away from family and I feel so alone and so discouraged. I'm really very sad. I'm not sure if writing this silly blog even helps. It's not like anyone is reading it. Nope, just me. I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

IT HAS ARRIVED!

My Food Lovers Diet System arrived today! YAY! Like anyone receiving a wonderful gift I hurried to open the box to see what exciting things were inside. I quickly took everything out and scattered them on my livingroom floor. A single DVD instructing me to "watch now" caught my attention so I placed it in my DVD player and begun watching. This gave an overview of the program and how to assemble my book. I am now ready to begin my weight-loss journey. But first I must do a lot of reading of this material to make sure I do it correctly and that I understand the science behind it. There are many recipes to follow which I am thankful for.

I have not informed my husband of this, yet. I want to see if he notices that I have lost some weight when he returns from his over the road job. Since he doesn't come home everyday I am certain he will notice! Tonight I will read the materials, Friday I will do the shopping and cooking of any meals that can be prepared in advance and on Saturday I will begin. My husband is due home soon, I think. I hope I can pull this off without too much suspicion.

Why don't I tell him??? Because I have tried other programs in the past that I give up on. I don't want him to think I will give up on this one and have him be disappointed in me. I know they say having a good support system in place when dieting is good but everytime I tell someone I am dieting, I fail. So I figure if I don't tell anyone that I am doing this plan, perhaps I will succeed! And once I am really on my way with the plan I will let them in on it. Also, in the past, if I eat something that may not look like it is part of a diet plan I get the comments "that's not on your plan, is it?" So, to avoid all that I have decided not to say anything to anyone and if they ask me what I am doing to lose the weight I will just say, "eating healthier." Sounds selfish, doesn't it? I call it "self preservation."