Monday Blues

This morning I said good-bye to my husband as he leaves to hit the road in the truck. He'll be gone for a while. Not sure when he'll be back. It was nice having him home for a day. I don't know how the military wives do it. Not seeing their spouse or loved ones for months at a time. It makes me sad that he is gone for probably weeks if not months this time.

I just watched a video on You-Tube of the 911 attack. I sat here and wept. At times uncontrollably. Seeing those towers fall and watching those people just throw themselves out of the windows because hitting the pavement below would be better than burning alive brought back all those emotions as if it were yesterday. How soon people forget that this was an act of terrorism on our land. On our home. The home of the FREE and the BRAVE. Every one of those firefighters, policeman and women, and good Samaritans that lost their lives on that fateful day are true heroes. And all of us looked on in disbelief and horror as Muslim extremists attacked our country.

May God be with our brave soldiers abroad and let us all pray for them to be brought home safely.

Cats & Dogs

This is Toby. He is a cool cat! He adopted us when we first moved to Columbus in 2000. He was a chubby boy there for a while but as he has aged he developed hypertyroidism which puts his metabolism in high gear and he has become very thin. Hmmmm....why couldn't that happen to me? Anyway, he wakes me up every morning by putting his paw on my eyelid and then gives me sweet licks on the forehead. He has lost some teeth which has given him a real bad case of bad breath. He is always ready to claim my lap whenever the opportunity arises. He was on the last truck with us and he was a trooper! He just hung out and took everything in stride. Such a cool cat!


This is Cocoa. My pooch. She is the best! Sweet and loving. Always follows me wherever I go. We adopted her 5 years ago or so from the Humane Society. We know nothing of her past or what breed she is. It really doesn't matter...we're just so happy she is with us. She traveled with us on both trucks and absolutely hated the last one. Too rough and loud for her pampered taste. If she can find a spot in the sun, she will lie there for hours. She loves to go for car rides every chance she gets, which is nearly everytime I leave the house. She traveled with me when I was a courier and loves hanging her head out the window to get a whiff of whatever is in the air. She is truly my second best friend (my husband is my first!).

Bio-rythems

3:12 am.

Hello world! Can't sleep. I think my bio-rythems are all out of wack. Too much on my mind me-thinks. The financial and economic world we live in today is becoming very stressful. The news reports that our "unemployment" numbers are on the decrease....ARE THEY KIDDING? How many people have stopped looking for work because after they have been layed-off from a company they have been with for a number of years find themselves in competition with the "young and perky" 20 somethings? Don't get me wrong; they need jobs too. Don't these companies realize that us mature, hard-working individuals have a wealth of experience to give? And the income they are offering these days is the same I was making in the early 80's!

Since the trucking jobs were hard on my back I find myself again without employment. So I am again asking the same questions as when I was layed-off in 2008. What now?

Today, March 3rd...my daughter's birthday

Hello, I'm back again. Today is March 3rd, my middle daughter's birthday. She is 35 years old. Where did the time go? I look at the clock and I am taken back to the day of her birth. My back was just killing me! I didn't have the normal labor pains but knew it was time. She was delivered naturally as all my girls were. What was I thinking? They had epidurals back then! I looked at that 9 pound bundle of joy and was in love just as I was when my oldest was born. It seems like yesterday I was a young mother; never realizing today would come so quickly and the world we live in would be so different.

I look in the mirror and see what once was a some-what attractive woman aging quickly. A woman in her mid-50's getting wider in the middle, saggier in the neckline and I find a new wrinkle every day it seems. So I guess I'm on track! I have a 35 year old daughter.

New Job; New Outlook

Hello friend. Last week I started a new job as an independent contractor delivering small packages around town. I really like it! The only downfall is my car's air conditioning is broke. The heat really gets to me and I'm afraid if I don't get it fixed soon I will have to quit. Last night I came home with a HORRIBLE headache from the heat. Today was the same way only my stomach was the issue. My husband thinks I'm a baby. Nice guy huh? Just because he can take it doesn't mean I can. Am I really a baby? Or, have I been so spoiled with the comforts of life? Nope....I NEED air conditioning!!!! I know, I know....there are soooo many people so far worse off than I. I should suck it up! Then again, I say....why for? I'm working....my car needs repair....I should get it done so I can be productive. I am in my car from 10 a.m. to sometime 7 p.m. or longer and I don't get out of the heat! And what about when it rains and it's 100 degrees outside??? That's a long freaking time to be in the elements wouldn't you say? The heat from the roads, cars and of course the sun really do me in.

So web-world....am I a baby?

My New Grandson is Born!

May 12th, 2010. Baby Kenny is born...9 lbs, 14 oz.! Healthy and gorgeous! I didn't know about the birth until a day later. That kind of made me sad that my daughter didn't call me right away to let me know. I don't know what's happened to my family. I know what happened...I left my family. I moved 400 miles away from my family 11 years ago. I left my family to fend for themselves and have been beating myself up ever since. My family is a mess and I blame myself. Hell....I'm a mess. After my divorce in the 80's I had no clue, no moral compass and God only knows I didn't know how to raise my kids on my own. I went through several men and 2 engagements before I found my current husband. I couldn't manage my bills very well, always made poor decisions no matter financially or personally. To this day I make decisions based on "want" and not "need." Just ask my husband, he'll tell ya! I wonder why he has stayed with me this long. LOL.

Since my layoff I have found it extremely difficult to find a job. Last week I took a job delivering small packages, you know, courier services. I enjoy it but I'm not sure if the money is enough to make a difference. I guess some money is better than no money.

Until next time!

Daughter No. 1

My oldest daughter lives in Tennessee with her teenage son and new husband. Some years ago, we had an argument and our relationship has been strained ever-since. I know I wasn't the perfect Mom when my kids were growing up but I thought I did the best I could. Perhaps I could have done a lot better but I didn't know that at the time. The stresses of being a divorsed mother, not knowing how to manage money or my own life or how to raise 3 kids on my own really took its toll.

This past weekend the floods in Tennessee worried me and I contacted her through Facebook. She is cordial with me and assured me that they were alright. Facebook seems to be the only way of communication and the only way I can see what's going on in my daughters life. Being estranged really sucks.